Tomorrow, at about 3pm, I will make my way into the sacred grounds for the Danza De La Luna ceremony.
I don't know what to expect. All I know is that this is a dance for the women, for the feminine. The men are there to support their journey and handle all the mundane tasks.
In looking back I can remember more than a few times where the coming lessons were intuitied and, as a response, feared. This one seems to be similar. I find myself questioning whether I should go or move on, despite my commitments to help. The first time this feeling happened to me, almost four years ago, I opted to back out from being the recipient of the healing and letting someone else take my place. Thankfully, I had a teacher who saw beyond my immediate needs and knew what was going on. I remained as the recipient and ended up receiving one of the more important healing sessions of the last several years. One that is directly related to the practice and vision that I have today. You could even say it was the first that is directly related to the present connection that I have with my ancestors.
Now that I know what that feels like, I can recognize when similar situations arise and respond appropriately.
I think back to the many sweat lodges I have been to over the years and the way in which each elder presented different experiences and ways of working with the spirits. My mentor Toby, for example, would pour really brief, but physically demanding, sweats. They would be very hot and hard on the body. Much like the sun beating down on you while you are working outside. This was my first sweat and was what initially attracted me towards the sweat lodge traditions. Our other elder, Celia, would pour sweats of a very different nature. They would be very mild when it came to physical exertion. The emotional exertion however, would be much more demanding. In the end I always found it more difficult to work through her sweats.
This, I feel, is what is going to be arising for me as a helper. An analogy that explains the way I feel when I am in her sweats is this: Love until it hurts...and it usually really hurts.
After the Moon-dance my trip is pretty much over! As much as I love traveling I am ready to be home for awhile. I'll be making two stops on my way home. One in Pennsylvania to visit family, and one in Indiana for both a ceremony and a visit to another family member. My Aunt in Indiana is going through a really rough period in her life. She was my first spiritual mentor when I was seeking help and she gave me a proper foundation for spiritual development. Visiting and being with her in her time of need is but one of the small ways in which I can show her my gratitude.
I've spent the bulk of my time just hanging out in the small towns that I've randomly come across. I spent some time in Belfast and then made my way down to Rockland. While I was there I met a lovely family that took me in and offered me dinner and a place to stay in both their camper and in their cabin. So I took to both and thoroughly enjoyed my time at the cabin. I was also a guest to a black and white movie performance in the old theatre in Rockland and was shown some of the old Schooners in the town harbor.
For the past four days or so I have been in Farmington, ME. This city is just a few miles away from the ceremony and is a college town. So there are some neat places here. I've been spending most of my time at the public library unproductively watching episodes of Dexter, wallowing in the strange funk that I had been in for almost two weeks (It is over finally!)
Yesterday I happened to make it out to the Mount Blue State park for a beautiful hike to the top of the mountain. The hike was physically demanding - A straight hike 1.6 miles up to the top, with small rocks and boulders scattered about on the pathway. Along the way I found an old abandoned house and streams of fresh drinking water (delightful!) I met plenty of nice families and even offered to take many of their pictures for them. The view at the top was magnificent! I have some pictures to post through facebook (again, they will posted once I get home.)
After the hike I drove back to Farmington and walked around the downtown area, eventually walking into a restaurant and grabbing a drink to watch some live music. Afterwards I had a short conversation with Uel, a worker at one of the nearby shops.
Today I have been sitting in a coffee shop waiting for 4pm to roll around. There is a small group of musicians playing somewhere around here for a couple of hours and I would like to catch them. Other than that I will probably do a lot of reading.
My current reads are the Tibetan Book of the Dead, Emotional Intelligence, People-Centered Organizations, and Non-profit for Dummies. The former is a pretty well known text that provides instruction material for spiritual practitioners to engage in practices that simulate the experiences of death in order to prepare one for actual death and dissipation of the gross material body. The next book is a pretty simple read and is based on Howard Gardner and his development of multiple intelligences. Coleman, the writer of the book, displays research data that suggests emotional intelligence helps to offer a better view of what constitutes intelligence, which is basically the development or two or more intelligences in a healthy manner, compared to the older perspective of intelligence resting solely within the logico-mathematical developmental line. Some of his other books include research into other lines, such as the social/interpersonal lines.
This research will end up being an important aspect to my future writings, showing how mask work helps with the development of some lines and not others.
When I say that I will be researching the UL quadrant of the AQAL from a zone #2 perspective involving states, stages, types, lines, this would fit under the lines category. Other lines can be ego-identity, aesthetic, moral, interpersonal, etc.
Even though I mention the book, don't expect it to come out next year or anything. Important enough as the book will be, I have other obligations set before me. Working and setting up the non-profit are my next two obligations, followed by building/converting the van and continuing to connect with communities. Once I have those set in motion I will begin to dive into research/writing.
That is all for now!
Cheers,
Justin
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